I guess my life is going to consist of time in between PET scans. That's ok.. I'll take what I can get as long as that time is spent in "remission".....
I went for a PET scan yesterday and got the results back today. All clear. Whew. I was worried that something was acting up since I've had a rather large knot on the right side of my back for the past several weeks. It isn't cancer related and looks like now is a good time to find a massage therapist and let them "rub it out".
I met with a plastic surgeon today as well. I have a decision to make. Not now, but soon. The surgery will be 10 hours long. I will spend 2 days in ICU, in the hospital for 5 days. I will come home with 4 drains. I will be on pain meds and unable to drive for at least 2 weeks. Did I mention the surgery will be 10 hours? And that is with his TEAM of 4-6 other doctors. I'm very nervous about it and wonder if the end results will be worth it all. I mean, I want breasts. But do I want them BAD enough? Am I being vain? God has blessed me this far, I don't want to push it. I plan on doing lots of research on the surgery and really weighing the pros and cons. I want to talk to others that have had this type of surgery and see if they regret it.
That's all for now. I know I haven't updated in a while and I keep saying I'll do better. lol
Thanks for all the prayers. They are much appreciated!!
Leanna
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Update from pathology report...
I posted this in Facebook's notes, but then realized a few of you that are keeping up with me aren't ON Facebook, so I am copying and pasting it here as well.
Vanderbilt called today at 1:00.
This is what I wrote down in my notepad:
Total cancer tumor size was a little over 12 cm.
Chemo killed 10 cm. Dr. Meszoely removed the invasive cancer that was left which was a total of 2.4 cms.
She removed 10 lymph nodes, 3 of which were involved. Got clear margins. Cancer is gone.
You are still Stage 4 since it metastasized to other areas (spine & kidney) and you will not be getting radiation
due to the fact you've already had it many years ago (one can't be radiated more than once in the same area) and the areas overlap. You will still need to come see Dr. Meszoely next Friday to have drains removed and set up an appointment with Dr. Mayer (my oncologist) to discuss what is next.
I wasn't sure if this was GOOD news or just news..... I was a little disappointed at not being able to have radiation just as a precaution but as my dad asked, "If the cancer from your breast is gone, what is there to radiate?" I will be asking for chemo ASAP not because I love it, but because without it, I feel vulnerable and very unprotected. Cancer has been a part of my life twice. Briefly when I was 19, and then again beginning in September 2011. When I heard the words "cancer is gone"... I wanted to fall to the floor, but then I remembered being Stage 4, I will always have cancer. I will take what I can get though and celebrate & rejoice that I didn't get the news of the cancer spreading.
Sooooo, this is good news--- and this probably puts me back at having the option of implants when its time for reconstruction. I have just about gotten used to the idea of the tram flap- even though the recovery isn't very easy.
Anyway.. .thank you all for your prayers-- they worked!!!!
Thank you, GOD, for having your hands on me.
This is what I wrote down in my notepad:
Total cancer tumor size was a little over 12 cm.
Chemo killed 10 cm. Dr. Meszoely removed the invasive cancer that was left which was a total of 2.4 cms.
She removed 10 lymph nodes, 3 of which were involved. Got clear margins. Cancer is gone.
You are still Stage 4 since it metastasized to other areas (spine & kidney) and you will not be getting radiation
due to the fact you've already had it many years ago (one can't be radiated more than once in the same area) and the areas overlap. You will still need to come see Dr. Meszoely next Friday to have drains removed and set up an appointment with Dr. Mayer (my oncologist) to discuss what is next.
I wasn't sure if this was GOOD news or just news..... I was a little disappointed at not being able to have radiation just as a precaution but as my dad asked, "If the cancer from your breast is gone, what is there to radiate?" I will be asking for chemo ASAP not because I love it, but because without it, I feel vulnerable and very unprotected. Cancer has been a part of my life twice. Briefly when I was 19, and then again beginning in September 2011. When I heard the words "cancer is gone"... I wanted to fall to the floor, but then I remembered being Stage 4, I will always have cancer. I will take what I can get though and celebrate & rejoice that I didn't get the news of the cancer spreading.
Sooooo, this is good news--- and this probably puts me back at having the option of implants when its time for reconstruction. I have just about gotten used to the idea of the tram flap- even though the recovery isn't very easy.
Anyway.. .thank you all for your prayers-- they worked!!!!
Thank you, GOD, for having your hands on me.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Surgey..check.
Well, it is Monday, May 21.This time last week I was waiting to be wheeled back into surgery. The nipple procedure was a piece of cake. I was all worked up over nothing. Could barely feel it. It was done to "light up" the cancer ridden nodes once they got in there. However, they injected me at 10am, and I wasn't taken back into surgery until 4:30 so the dye had worn off. They played it safe (from what I was told) and took the whole "clump" of nodes. I should hear back from the pathology report later on in the week.
I didn't even remember being taken back to surgery. My mom, dad, Jordan and Mitch were there with me, and I had a surprise visit from a special friend, Elizabeth. She drove almost 2 hours to come see me and she stayed with me until I went back.
When I came to... I was still pretty much loopy from the drugs so I really don't remember much until the next day when it was time for me to go home. I made sure Mitch got my pain meds filled so I wouldn't have to go without taking them for any period of time. As with the nausea medicine... the key to managing the pain is staying ahead of it, so I took my meds by the clock.
On a pain scale of 1-10, its been about a 2 most days. One night it ranked about a 9 and I had to get a nurse friend of mine to come over late to make sure nothing was wrong with my drains/incisions. Turns out, I was having muscle spasms under my right arm, where they took the lymph nodes. It was similar to a charlie horse... how it cramps up and hurts like crap.. then when the cramp goes away, it is still sore from cramping up. I called Vandy the next day and they called me in some muscle relaxers and said what I was describing was normal.
Drains. Oh my. It is the weirdest thing but they aren't bothering me at all. I mean, they are a nuisance, yes. But, I haven't gotten grossed out by them like I thought I would. We have to empty them & measure the output twice a day. I should get them out next week.
It is day 7 and the biggest problem I'm having is some pain/soreness under my arms and on my chest. It is very sore to the touch and I'm not able to bend down and pick anything up without it hurting. I am also itching on my arms and where my boobs used to be. Its frustrating to have an itch somewhere, but can't scratch it because its numb. I guess it is similar to "phantom pains" that amputees have.
I don't know what I would have done if Mitch hadn't been off this whole last week. He has done everything around here.... mainly taken great care of me. He got up every 4 hours to give me my medicine. Helped me out of my chair, brought my food & drink to me, taken care of the animals, washed clothes, done dishes. He even got IN the shower with me to help. Talk about awkward... not by him getting in the shower with me, but just afraid of what he would think seeing me. Without the bandages, and without boobs. He was so understanding and just gently kissed where they used to be. He has slept on the couch in the living room every night. (I am sleeping in a recliner in the living room.. and BOY DO I MISS MY BED!!! lol) He has emptied my drains like a professional and one time, he let me squeeze the bulb of nastiness into the cup and I gave it a few extra squeezes and he said, "Whoa baby.. you're getting lymphatic air on me..." lol He also cleaned one of my drains that had gotten clogged up with a tissue and for some unknown reason, he stuck the tissue in his pocket and didn't realize it was still there until a few hours later. LOL He has tried to lighten the situation up by making jokes and keeping me laughing. I am going to miss him when he goes back to work. :(
I also want to thank everybody that has come to visit and brought food. It has been such a HUGE relief not to have to worry about cooking supper. Frankly, I don't think I could pick up pots and pans and stand there & cook. So, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
I am going to insert some pictures.... some are nasty, but it is what it is. Hope I don't offend anybody.
I didn't even remember being taken back to surgery. My mom, dad, Jordan and Mitch were there with me, and I had a surprise visit from a special friend, Elizabeth. She drove almost 2 hours to come see me and she stayed with me until I went back.
When I came to... I was still pretty much loopy from the drugs so I really don't remember much until the next day when it was time for me to go home. I made sure Mitch got my pain meds filled so I wouldn't have to go without taking them for any period of time. As with the nausea medicine... the key to managing the pain is staying ahead of it, so I took my meds by the clock.
On a pain scale of 1-10, its been about a 2 most days. One night it ranked about a 9 and I had to get a nurse friend of mine to come over late to make sure nothing was wrong with my drains/incisions. Turns out, I was having muscle spasms under my right arm, where they took the lymph nodes. It was similar to a charlie horse... how it cramps up and hurts like crap.. then when the cramp goes away, it is still sore from cramping up. I called Vandy the next day and they called me in some muscle relaxers and said what I was describing was normal.
Drains. Oh my. It is the weirdest thing but they aren't bothering me at all. I mean, they are a nuisance, yes. But, I haven't gotten grossed out by them like I thought I would. We have to empty them & measure the output twice a day. I should get them out next week.
It is day 7 and the biggest problem I'm having is some pain/soreness under my arms and on my chest. It is very sore to the touch and I'm not able to bend down and pick anything up without it hurting. I am also itching on my arms and where my boobs used to be. Its frustrating to have an itch somewhere, but can't scratch it because its numb. I guess it is similar to "phantom pains" that amputees have.
I don't know what I would have done if Mitch hadn't been off this whole last week. He has done everything around here.... mainly taken great care of me. He got up every 4 hours to give me my medicine. Helped me out of my chair, brought my food & drink to me, taken care of the animals, washed clothes, done dishes. He even got IN the shower with me to help. Talk about awkward... not by him getting in the shower with me, but just afraid of what he would think seeing me. Without the bandages, and without boobs. He was so understanding and just gently kissed where they used to be. He has slept on the couch in the living room every night. (I am sleeping in a recliner in the living room.. and BOY DO I MISS MY BED!!! lol) He has emptied my drains like a professional and one time, he let me squeeze the bulb of nastiness into the cup and I gave it a few extra squeezes and he said, "Whoa baby.. you're getting lymphatic air on me..." lol He also cleaned one of my drains that had gotten clogged up with a tissue and for some unknown reason, he stuck the tissue in his pocket and didn't realize it was still there until a few hours later. LOL He has tried to lighten the situation up by making jokes and keeping me laughing. I am going to miss him when he goes back to work. :(
I also want to thank everybody that has come to visit and brought food. It has been such a HUGE relief not to have to worry about cooking supper. Frankly, I don't think I could pick up pots and pans and stand there & cook. So, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
I am going to insert some pictures.... some are nasty, but it is what it is. Hope I don't offend anybody.
 |
| These are the drains...3 of them. |
 |
| This is Mitch "stripping" the drain. |
 |
| This is me... minus my boobs. :( lol |
 |
| This is how I have to shower... that is a housecoat belt draped around my neck, with the drains pinned to it to keep them from hanging. Quite a hassle. |
 |
| Mitch has slept on the couch the entire time. Notice Mallie laying on him. |
 |
| This is how Mallie sleeps with me in the chair. She has been very gentle. |
 |
| Me and Jordan. :) |
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Overdue update....
Well, it looks like my last post was back in January, and about my 6th chemo. It is now April and I just had my 16th chemo last week. And I'm done. For now. Let me try to catch everybody up.
I have been in a funk for a few weeks. Not suicidal or anything, but just not feeling really positive about any of this breast cancer stuff. I haven't even bothered to look up mastectomies or reconstructive surgery on google. My toes have been numb. My fingernails have been sore. I have had constant fatigue. Nothing tastes good (other than Snow Cream Miami Ice.. lol) I am still bothered by my lack of hair. My labs were low last week and I'm having to take Calcium supplements. I still have a slight rash on the back of my hands. I still have morning nosebleeds. **sigh**
At each infusion, the smell of the alcohol used to clean the port area has started to make me sick. I am sure its a mental thing, but still.... I have had enough for a while. I needed a break, and yesterday I got one.
I had a PET scan at 7am at the main campus at Vanderbilt. The nurse that accessed my port was the most gentle I've had yet. I honestly didn't even feel the stick. I had the PET scan, and just as I feared, as soon as they tied my arms down, I started itching all over. (Again, a mental thing... lol) After the scan, we headed over to the Breast Center for my other appointments. My doctor, Dr. Mayer, canceled our appointment since I had so many other things going on - and also canceled my infusion. (yesssssss!) I had a mammogram at 10:30 and I have to say the techs here in the Shoals should take lessons from the techs in Nashville. There was NO pain at all - she was very gentle. After the mammogram, I was sent across the hall for an ultrasound. I could tell by the way the techs were talking that they could still see something there. I couldn't make out what they were saying due to the loud humming in the room from the machines. Probably just as well. We met with my surgeon, Dr. Meszoely and she was very thorough. She stayed in the room for over an hour explaining in detail about the mastectomy. I think it really hit home as she was drawing images of breasts on her board and explaining the procedure. I couldn't help but cry when I saw the "after" picture, complete with scar and all.
I knew this time would come. I know it should be a positive thing. One step closer, blah blah blah. I am scared to death though. I haven't had any major surgery since January 19, 1996. When I left the hospital that time, I had a baby to bring home. This time I leave the hospital after surgery, I'm going to be missing both breasts. I am scared of the lymp node procedure that will be done prior to surgery. I will be awake for it and it involves injections around my right nipple.... that can't be pleasant no matter how much EMLA cream I apply. I am scared something will happen to me while I'm under anesthesia. I am scared the recovery will be awful. I am scared of not taking chemo for a while-- what if something starts happening and the cancer starts acting up? I am dreading the whole drain thing. I almost got sick while the nurse was explaining how to "strip" the tube if it gets clogged. I mean, I was gagging at just her explaining it to us. I hope Mitch has a stronger stomach than I do. LOL
So, I am waiting on the scheduler to call me with my surgery date. I'll have the surgery, have time to recover and then in July I will start 6 weeks of radiation. Not sure about chemo after that. Dr. Meszoely and Dr. Mayer are going to present my case before the Tumor Board and get some opinions. She did mention yesterday that they don't normally do bilateral mastectomies on Stage 4 TN patients. :/ I didn't know whether to take that as a good thing that they ARE doing it on me, or as a bad thing- for the obvious reasons. I am still trying to stay positive though...... as hard as it is.
I have been in a funk for a few weeks. Not suicidal or anything, but just not feeling really positive about any of this breast cancer stuff. I haven't even bothered to look up mastectomies or reconstructive surgery on google. My toes have been numb. My fingernails have been sore. I have had constant fatigue. Nothing tastes good (other than Snow Cream Miami Ice.. lol) I am still bothered by my lack of hair. My labs were low last week and I'm having to take Calcium supplements. I still have a slight rash on the back of my hands. I still have morning nosebleeds. **sigh**
At each infusion, the smell of the alcohol used to clean the port area has started to make me sick. I am sure its a mental thing, but still.... I have had enough for a while. I needed a break, and yesterday I got one.
I had a PET scan at 7am at the main campus at Vanderbilt. The nurse that accessed my port was the most gentle I've had yet. I honestly didn't even feel the stick. I had the PET scan, and just as I feared, as soon as they tied my arms down, I started itching all over. (Again, a mental thing... lol) After the scan, we headed over to the Breast Center for my other appointments. My doctor, Dr. Mayer, canceled our appointment since I had so many other things going on - and also canceled my infusion. (yesssssss!) I had a mammogram at 10:30 and I have to say the techs here in the Shoals should take lessons from the techs in Nashville. There was NO pain at all - she was very gentle. After the mammogram, I was sent across the hall for an ultrasound. I could tell by the way the techs were talking that they could still see something there. I couldn't make out what they were saying due to the loud humming in the room from the machines. Probably just as well. We met with my surgeon, Dr. Meszoely and she was very thorough. She stayed in the room for over an hour explaining in detail about the mastectomy. I think it really hit home as she was drawing images of breasts on her board and explaining the procedure. I couldn't help but cry when I saw the "after" picture, complete with scar and all.
I knew this time would come. I know it should be a positive thing. One step closer, blah blah blah. I am scared to death though. I haven't had any major surgery since January 19, 1996. When I left the hospital that time, I had a baby to bring home. This time I leave the hospital after surgery, I'm going to be missing both breasts. I am scared of the lymp node procedure that will be done prior to surgery. I will be awake for it and it involves injections around my right nipple.... that can't be pleasant no matter how much EMLA cream I apply. I am scared something will happen to me while I'm under anesthesia. I am scared the recovery will be awful. I am scared of not taking chemo for a while-- what if something starts happening and the cancer starts acting up? I am dreading the whole drain thing. I almost got sick while the nurse was explaining how to "strip" the tube if it gets clogged. I mean, I was gagging at just her explaining it to us. I hope Mitch has a stronger stomach than I do. LOL
So, I am waiting on the scheduler to call me with my surgery date. I'll have the surgery, have time to recover and then in July I will start 6 weeks of radiation. Not sure about chemo after that. Dr. Meszoely and Dr. Mayer are going to present my case before the Tumor Board and get some opinions. She did mention yesterday that they don't normally do bilateral mastectomies on Stage 4 TN patients. :/ I didn't know whether to take that as a good thing that they ARE doing it on me, or as a bad thing- for the obvious reasons. I am still trying to stay positive though...... as hard as it is.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Chemo # 6. Done.
I had my 6th chemo treatment on Tuesday. I will get to skip next week, but then the following week, I am scheduled for a PET scan to see how the cancer is responding to the chemo. Please start praying NOW that it is working. I am very nervous about the results.....
As I was sitting in the waiting room Tuesday, a lady noticed my Alabama Championship shirt (ROLL TIDE) and asked if I was from Alabama. We got to talking and found out that she is from Killen, AL (about 20 minutes away) and that she also has Triple Negative breast cancer and is taking the exact same drug cocktail I am. Small world!
I have had a very aggravating cough for about 2 weeks, so before receiving my chemo, I was sent across the hall to Imaging to have a chest X-ray done. It was clear, so chemo was administered as scheduled. I am adding Claritin and Priolosec to my medicines to see if that helps with the cough. They think it is just allergy related. :/
Yesterday I got a phone call from a friend of mine who was just diagnosed with breast cancer. I have known her for about 4 years (my son used to have a crush on her... lol). She is just beginning this journey and I was glad I was able to point her in the right direction (away from Kirklin Clinic! lol) She has an appointment at Vanderbilt next week. Please keep her in your prayers... she has a 12 yr old daughter. It seems like every week I am learning about someone new that has been diagnosed. Its sad, scary and makes me angry.
That's about all I know.
Thank you for your continued support and your ongoing prayers..... it means the world to me. :)
As I was sitting in the waiting room Tuesday, a lady noticed my Alabama Championship shirt (ROLL TIDE) and asked if I was from Alabama. We got to talking and found out that she is from Killen, AL (about 20 minutes away) and that she also has Triple Negative breast cancer and is taking the exact same drug cocktail I am. Small world!
I have had a very aggravating cough for about 2 weeks, so before receiving my chemo, I was sent across the hall to Imaging to have a chest X-ray done. It was clear, so chemo was administered as scheduled. I am adding Claritin and Priolosec to my medicines to see if that helps with the cough. They think it is just allergy related. :/
Yesterday I got a phone call from a friend of mine who was just diagnosed with breast cancer. I have known her for about 4 years (my son used to have a crush on her... lol). She is just beginning this journey and I was glad I was able to point her in the right direction (away from Kirklin Clinic! lol) She has an appointment at Vanderbilt next week. Please keep her in your prayers... she has a 12 yr old daughter. It seems like every week I am learning about someone new that has been diagnosed. Its sad, scary and makes me angry.
That's about all I know.
Thank you for your continued support and your ongoing prayers..... it means the world to me. :)
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Chemo #5.... check. (WARNING.. this is a long one....)
Today was Chemo # 5. Reminds me of that song, Mambo # 5 by Lou Bega that was big a long time ago.. Remember? Here.. I altered the lyrics a bit....
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Chemo number five.
Verse 1
One, two, three, four, five, everybody in the car so come on let's ride...
To the infusion center around the corner.
The nurses say they want my vitals but I really don't wanna.
I want a break like I had last week.
I must stay deep 'cause talk is cheap.
I like benadryl, cisplatin ,taxol and decadron,
And as I continue, I know they're getin' their job done.
So what can I do? I really beg you my Lord.
To me chemo is just like a sport.
Chorus
A little bit of chemo in my life,
A little bit of Mitch by my side.
A little bit of chemo is what I need,
A little bit of nurses are what I see.
A little bit of traffic in the sun,
A little bit of worrying all night long.
A little bit of Vanderbilt here I am,
A little bit of Ativan makes me calm down!
Chemo number five.
Ah.... I will spare you the 2nd verse. You get it. LOL
So. My friend Robin and her husband volunteered to take me to my infusion today. Mitch had to work and I thought I'd give my family a break from taking me. We had a good time.. I was able to force myself to stay awake during the benadryl part of the process... if it hadn't been for Robin questioning my nurse on everything (ROFL... love ya Robin!) I would have slept through the whole thing, like I've done the last 2 treatments. When this happens, I feel bad for the person sitting in the room with me. I can only imagine how boring it must be for them. Oh, and I want to thank Robin and Charles for introducing me to "scratch offs and lottery tickets".... we stopped at that gas station beside the Boobie Bungalow (*snicker*) and I won $5. ;) If I check the lottery numbers tomorrow night and I win that $30 million---- let's just say you all will know it. LOL
A few months ago, I joined a breast cancer forum and felt it was a bit depressing reading some of the posts. I wanted to have someone to talk to that was going through the same thing, so I just basically picked someone that had posted an entry and sent them a private message. We exchanged a few messages and then realized we were both on Facebook. (YESSSSSS!!!!!!) So, we have kept in touch at least several times a week. We started out on the same schedule and on our first treatment... she was such a huge help to me. Her treatment started a couple hours before mine did (she lives in GA) and I was constantly texting her asking, "Ok, what is going on now?" and she would give me a preview of what to expect. It really helped ease my anxiety. She has a FB page dedicated solely to her journey and I keep up with her posts pretty much every day. Yesterday she had posted on what a crappy day she was having, and I was reading her words, I was nodding and thinking to myself, "Oh my stars! That is exactly how I feel!! Yes!! This is happening to ME, TOO!" She was able to describe things that are going on with me that I haven't exactly been able to put into words.... so, I am not going to plagiarize, but I am going to use many of her descriptions that pertain to what I'm going through. (I'll just tweak it a bit.. lol and Amy, if you read this... I hope you don't mind)
Unlike Amy, I really haven't had any nausea. I take my Zofran and Phenegran religiously and that has helped me sooo much. (not saying that Amy ISN'T... I'm sure she is... everybody is different and we ARE on a different cocktail, so that makes a HUGE difference) I set my alarm clock for 6am even on the weekends to get up and take my Zofran. So yeah... I don't play around with that.
I am feeling more tired. Like, after doing one load of dishes and a load of laundry.... I need to sit down. I am afraid its becoming confused with appearing lazy and I don't want Mitch to start resenting me for not "pulling my share of weight" around here. I don't think he has, but I don't want him to start. I know these drugs are starting to build up in my body and with all the books he has read, he should know that as well. I guess I just feel guilty for physically not being able to do "business as usual".
I hate the way I look. Mostly because of my hair. I know.... I should get over it. Well, that is easier said than done. My wig is not comfortable and I hate wearing it. I hate wearing my black hat or my soft "boggans" just because I know what is under them. To me, THIS is what makes me look like a cancer patient and I hate it. The only GOOD thing about not having any hair is the money we're saving on shampoo and not having to fool with the straight iron anymore. LOL
My port is still a little sore.... and every time it is accessed, my first question is "Is it working ok?" I am so afraid I'm going to have problems with it. I guess I'm just paranoid about it. It looks bruised and is sore several days after treatment. The numbing cream doesn't work, so I have to ask for the freezie
Food. Ahhhh. Well, I have been trying to explain this to Mitch, my mom & friends, but haven't been able to really find the words to describe it- until I read Amy's entry today. So, I WILL copy her description on this.. lol While I can still taste food to some degree... its "MUTED", if that makes sense. Like, when I eat a steak (and you all know how I love my steak) I can taste it, but its like a teaser... I can't taste ALL of it. It is like someone has drained almost all of the flavor, but left just enough so I can tell what it is. But not quite enough for me to enjoy it. I'm adding more salt, sugar, etc... to things which probably isn't very healthy for me. Its just not fun eating food you can't enjoy.
I am beginning to get ill with people and not really having a valid reason for it. I will be in a bad mood- just because. Having a 15 yr old in the house is stressful enough, but add mama being on chemo and WHOA BOY. We've been clashing the last few days and I feel bad about it... some of it is his fault, and some of it is the fact that I have cancer and I'm pissed off about it. Same with Mitch. I have been ill with him over things that normally don't bother me, but for some reason- now they make me ill. I know his list of things I do that irritate him is probably three times as long as my list of things he does that irritates me.... so I sure don't want to get into a pointing fingers debate with him because he will win-- hands down. I don't see how he lives with me right now, to be honest.
One of my best friends had a NYE party this year, and I've been planning to go for weeks. Even bought a NYE outfit. The night before, I landed myself in the ER due to having a fever of 101.5 That may not sound too high for a normal person, but for someone on chemo, anything over 100.4 is considered a concern. Turns out, I more than likely overdid myself Friday (trying to help a pit bull puppy with parvo.. but that is another story) and possibly picked up a bug from being at WalMart. I was put on an antibiotic and told to consider myself on lockdown for the next several days and do not leave the house. If I HAD to leave for some reason, I was handed a Michael Jackson mask and instructed to wear it. As bad as I wanted to go to Marnie's party, I knew my body wasn't ready. So..... Mitch and I rang in the New Year at home, with the dogs. Part of me was fine with that, another part of me wasn't. I sat here thinking how cancer was keeping me from doing what I normally do. How unfair is that to not only me, but Mitch? That made me think of how limited I was becoming. I can't just sit down and plan a summer vacation with friends because I have to see when my treatments will be, surgeries, etc...
I miss girls night out. I know holidays have put a damper on things-- but now its like Monday's I can't stay out late because Tuesdays are treatment days. Tuesday is definitely out (unless its on my off week), Wednesday is church night, Thursdays are somewhat possible because I usually feel pretty good still... Friday and Saturday I start feeling really tired and then Sunday is anybody's guess. There is also the issue of being in a crowd.
I hate having to be careful about going out in crowds. Its like it is punishing not only me, but Mitch too. And movies.... a group of us girls always go see the midnight showing of scary movies on opening night. Am I supposed to miss out on that TOO? Ugh.. its just so unfair.
After all of this whining I've done.... I realize these are the things that come along with having cancer. Things could be a lot worse. I could be alone. My son could decide to live somewhere else. I could be sick in the bed. I could not have such a great support system of friends like I do. Mitch could throw his hands up and walk out. I could have no family to help. I could have no insurance.......
I know I need to count my blessings and be thankful for what I do have.
At the beginning of this... I had a "kick cancer's ass" attitude, and I've not had that attitude lately. I need to work on getting it back.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Chemo number five.
Verse 1
One, two, three, four, five, everybody in the car so come on let's ride...
To the infusion center around the corner.
The nurses say they want my vitals but I really don't wanna.
I want a break like I had last week.
I must stay deep 'cause talk is cheap.
I like benadryl, cisplatin ,taxol and decadron,
And as I continue, I know they're getin' their job done.
So what can I do? I really beg you my Lord.
To me chemo is just like a sport.
Chorus
A little bit of chemo in my life,
A little bit of Mitch by my side.
A little bit of chemo is what I need,
A little bit of nurses are what I see.
A little bit of traffic in the sun,
A little bit of worrying all night long.
A little bit of Vanderbilt here I am,
A little bit of Ativan makes me calm down!
Chemo number five.
Ah.... I will spare you the 2nd verse. You get it. LOL
So. My friend Robin and her husband volunteered to take me to my infusion today. Mitch had to work and I thought I'd give my family a break from taking me. We had a good time.. I was able to force myself to stay awake during the benadryl part of the process... if it hadn't been for Robin questioning my nurse on everything (ROFL... love ya Robin!) I would have slept through the whole thing, like I've done the last 2 treatments. When this happens, I feel bad for the person sitting in the room with me. I can only imagine how boring it must be for them. Oh, and I want to thank Robin and Charles for introducing me to "scratch offs and lottery tickets".... we stopped at that gas station beside the Boobie Bungalow (*snicker*) and I won $5. ;) If I check the lottery numbers tomorrow night and I win that $30 million---- let's just say you all will know it. LOL
A few months ago, I joined a breast cancer forum and felt it was a bit depressing reading some of the posts. I wanted to have someone to talk to that was going through the same thing, so I just basically picked someone that had posted an entry and sent them a private message. We exchanged a few messages and then realized we were both on Facebook. (YESSSSSS!!!!!!) So, we have kept in touch at least several times a week. We started out on the same schedule and on our first treatment... she was such a huge help to me. Her treatment started a couple hours before mine did (she lives in GA) and I was constantly texting her asking, "Ok, what is going on now?" and she would give me a preview of what to expect. It really helped ease my anxiety. She has a FB page dedicated solely to her journey and I keep up with her posts pretty much every day. Yesterday she had posted on what a crappy day she was having, and I was reading her words, I was nodding and thinking to myself, "Oh my stars! That is exactly how I feel!! Yes!! This is happening to ME, TOO!" She was able to describe things that are going on with me that I haven't exactly been able to put into words.... so, I am not going to plagiarize, but I am going to use many of her descriptions that pertain to what I'm going through. (I'll just tweak it a bit.. lol and Amy, if you read this... I hope you don't mind)
Unlike Amy, I really haven't had any nausea. I take my Zofran and Phenegran religiously and that has helped me sooo much. (not saying that Amy ISN'T... I'm sure she is... everybody is different and we ARE on a different cocktail, so that makes a HUGE difference) I set my alarm clock for 6am even on the weekends to get up and take my Zofran. So yeah... I don't play around with that.
I am feeling more tired. Like, after doing one load of dishes and a load of laundry.... I need to sit down. I am afraid its becoming confused with appearing lazy and I don't want Mitch to start resenting me for not "pulling my share of weight" around here. I don't think he has, but I don't want him to start. I know these drugs are starting to build up in my body and with all the books he has read, he should know that as well. I guess I just feel guilty for physically not being able to do "business as usual".
I hate the way I look. Mostly because of my hair. I know.... I should get over it. Well, that is easier said than done. My wig is not comfortable and I hate wearing it. I hate wearing my black hat or my soft "boggans" just because I know what is under them. To me, THIS is what makes me look like a cancer patient and I hate it. The only GOOD thing about not having any hair is the money we're saving on shampoo and not having to fool with the straight iron anymore. LOL
My port is still a little sore.... and every time it is accessed, my first question is "Is it working ok?" I am so afraid I'm going to have problems with it. I guess I'm just paranoid about it. It looks bruised and is sore several days after treatment. The numbing cream doesn't work, so I have to ask for the freezie
Food. Ahhhh. Well, I have been trying to explain this to Mitch, my mom & friends, but haven't been able to really find the words to describe it- until I read Amy's entry today. So, I WILL copy her description on this.. lol While I can still taste food to some degree... its "MUTED", if that makes sense. Like, when I eat a steak (and you all know how I love my steak) I can taste it, but its like a teaser... I can't taste ALL of it. It is like someone has drained almost all of the flavor, but left just enough so I can tell what it is. But not quite enough for me to enjoy it. I'm adding more salt, sugar, etc... to things which probably isn't very healthy for me. Its just not fun eating food you can't enjoy.
I am beginning to get ill with people and not really having a valid reason for it. I will be in a bad mood- just because. Having a 15 yr old in the house is stressful enough, but add mama being on chemo and WHOA BOY. We've been clashing the last few days and I feel bad about it... some of it is his fault, and some of it is the fact that I have cancer and I'm pissed off about it. Same with Mitch. I have been ill with him over things that normally don't bother me, but for some reason- now they make me ill. I know his list of things I do that irritate him is probably three times as long as my list of things he does that irritates me.... so I sure don't want to get into a pointing fingers debate with him because he will win-- hands down. I don't see how he lives with me right now, to be honest.
One of my best friends had a NYE party this year, and I've been planning to go for weeks. Even bought a NYE outfit. The night before, I landed myself in the ER due to having a fever of 101.5 That may not sound too high for a normal person, but for someone on chemo, anything over 100.4 is considered a concern. Turns out, I more than likely overdid myself Friday (trying to help a pit bull puppy with parvo.. but that is another story) and possibly picked up a bug from being at WalMart. I was put on an antibiotic and told to consider myself on lockdown for the next several days and do not leave the house. If I HAD to leave for some reason, I was handed a Michael Jackson mask and instructed to wear it. As bad as I wanted to go to Marnie's party, I knew my body wasn't ready. So..... Mitch and I rang in the New Year at home, with the dogs. Part of me was fine with that, another part of me wasn't. I sat here thinking how cancer was keeping me from doing what I normally do. How unfair is that to not only me, but Mitch? That made me think of how limited I was becoming. I can't just sit down and plan a summer vacation with friends because I have to see when my treatments will be, surgeries, etc...
I miss girls night out. I know holidays have put a damper on things-- but now its like Monday's I can't stay out late because Tuesdays are treatment days. Tuesday is definitely out (unless its on my off week), Wednesday is church night, Thursdays are somewhat possible because I usually feel pretty good still... Friday and Saturday I start feeling really tired and then Sunday is anybody's guess. There is also the issue of being in a crowd.
I hate having to be careful about going out in crowds. Its like it is punishing not only me, but Mitch too. And movies.... a group of us girls always go see the midnight showing of scary movies on opening night. Am I supposed to miss out on that TOO? Ugh.. its just so unfair.
After all of this whining I've done.... I realize these are the things that come along with having cancer. Things could be a lot worse. I could be alone. My son could decide to live somewhere else. I could be sick in the bed. I could not have such a great support system of friends like I do. Mitch could throw his hands up and walk out. I could have no family to help. I could have no insurance.......
I know I need to count my blessings and be thankful for what I do have.
At the beginning of this... I had a "kick cancer's ass" attitude, and I've not had that attitude lately. I need to work on getting it back.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Update 12/28
So Christmas has come and gone. Mitch is still listening to Christmas music. **sigh**
I finally got in the Christmas spirt around, oh.... Christmas Eve. LOL I got some good stuff- a new phone, a Kindle Fire, some new leather shoes and some fancy perfume. Jordan got all Polo stuff, so he was happy. Mitch got some overalls, some new shirts, some Bama lounge pants and some high dollar cologne. The most important thing was he was here this year. And so was I.
I had my 4th chemo yesterday. I'm bouncing off the walls today (thank you, steroids). I gave both yorkies MUCH NEEDED baths and have done about 45 loads of laundry. Well, not that many- but close. Last night I couldn't sleep. My body was tired, but my mind was in overdrive. I hate that. I thought I'd be tired today, but no such luck.
I met with my nurse practitioner yesterday, Katie. I love her. She said I was doing better than expected on the chemo and kept asking if I was having different side effects and I was proud to answer "not yet" to every one of them. No neuropathy. No mouth sores. No nausea. No constipation or diarrhea, no changes in appetite..... so far I have only gotten a little tired on days 3 & 4 after treatment. **knock on wood** She thinks I will still be backed off one of my drugs soon-- said there was no need to keep "hittin' me hard" if it wasn't necessary. It sort of makes me nervous to back down... I don't want this cancer thinking we're letting up on it.
I have a PET scan coming up so we'll see how the cancer is responding to the chemo. PLEASE PRAY IT HAS SHRUNK!!!
That is about all that has happened lately.... I know, not too exciting, huh? LOL
Well... just about ALL of my hair has come out now. I am sporting a hat most days (only late at night, when I'm totally by myself do I prance around in all my baldness... lol) I just can't get used to not having hair up there. :(
Thanks for the continued prayers and support.... it means the world to me. And I want to thank my husband for being beside me every step of the way. :)
I finally got in the Christmas spirt around, oh.... Christmas Eve. LOL I got some good stuff- a new phone, a Kindle Fire, some new leather shoes and some fancy perfume. Jordan got all Polo stuff, so he was happy. Mitch got some overalls, some new shirts, some Bama lounge pants and some high dollar cologne. The most important thing was he was here this year. And so was I.
I had my 4th chemo yesterday. I'm bouncing off the walls today (thank you, steroids). I gave both yorkies MUCH NEEDED baths and have done about 45 loads of laundry. Well, not that many- but close. Last night I couldn't sleep. My body was tired, but my mind was in overdrive. I hate that. I thought I'd be tired today, but no such luck.
I met with my nurse practitioner yesterday, Katie. I love her. She said I was doing better than expected on the chemo and kept asking if I was having different side effects and I was proud to answer "not yet" to every one of them. No neuropathy. No mouth sores. No nausea. No constipation or diarrhea, no changes in appetite..... so far I have only gotten a little tired on days 3 & 4 after treatment. **knock on wood** She thinks I will still be backed off one of my drugs soon-- said there was no need to keep "hittin' me hard" if it wasn't necessary. It sort of makes me nervous to back down... I don't want this cancer thinking we're letting up on it.
I have a PET scan coming up so we'll see how the cancer is responding to the chemo. PLEASE PRAY IT HAS SHRUNK!!!
That is about all that has happened lately.... I know, not too exciting, huh? LOL
Well... just about ALL of my hair has come out now. I am sporting a hat most days (only late at night, when I'm totally by myself do I prance around in all my baldness... lol) I just can't get used to not having hair up there. :(
Thanks for the continued prayers and support.... it means the world to me. And I want to thank my husband for being beside me every step of the way. :)
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Catching up....
Wow.... I can't believe I haven't updated this in so long. I'll try to remember the important stuff.
I had a birthday. Monday, December 12, I turned 40. It wasn't that bad. I happen to share my birthday with a friend of mine, Heather Jeffreys, so Mitch and I met her and her boyfriend & family members at Ricatoni's. I had been dreading turning 40, but after being diagnosed, my outlook has changed a little and it wasn't so bad to turn 40 afterall.
I went to Nashville on Tuesday, Dec. 13 and met with my kidney doctor. He was awesome. He pretty much told me not to worry about my kidney issue. We are just going to watch it for the next 6 months. He said the only way to take care of the kidney issue is surgery and that would mean stopping my chemo, which we don't want to do. He said the lesion is so small, he isn't going to worry with it at this time and they would just keep an eye on it and if any changes develop, we'll deal with them then.
I then met with Dr. Meyer, my oncologist. She went over the biopsy results of my spine. Seems the spot on my spine IS related to the breast cancer, so that puts me at Stage 4. Not curable. :( From that point on, everything she said was kinda foggy. I was really hoping NOT to be Stage 4. Well.. it is what it is. She mentioned I would have to be on some sort of treatment from now on. (I assumed CHEMO, which would mean NO HAIR EVER, but my dad pointed out that she never said it would be chemo.. it could just be a pill or something. There I go, assuming the worst. lol) She changed my regiment from ever week for 6 weeks to once a week for 3 weeks then take the 4th week off. Then start over. She also mentioned that she might be backing off one of my chemo meds since I seem to be responding so well already. Since I have triple negative, its harder to find meds that the cancer responds to so she pretty much said she'd rather back off one of the meds now, than keep me on it and then in a year or so, be scrambling around trying to find another medicine I'll respond to. Makes sense, I guess.
I had a benefit on December 17 at FloBama. Our friends Mike Current (Puppy) and Brenda Aldridge & Blaine Cantrell planned it. Several of my friends put together a silent auction. I made a speech. (LOL) A "famous" called on a local sports radio show agreed to be the Emcee ... I was honored to have The Legend there. Several musician friends agreed to perform. Byron Green. Blaine Cantrell & John Crosslin. My husband, Mitch, and Toby Aderhold. Max Russell & the Shakedown Kings, and The Alabama Blues Brothers. After the Blues Brothers, it was sort of an open jam session.. Mitch and Bobby Aday did a few. Mitch and Jeff Moore did a few. It was a long night, but it was a good night. It was a night I will always remember. My friends really went above and beyond to make it special. My best friend from Memphis came home. My uncle from FL drove up and my cousin from New York was there. My cheeks were sore from smiling so much. I wore my long wig and as uncomfortable as it was... I was able to leave it on the whole night. lol
We raised a little over $4400 with donations, T-shirt sales and the auction.
The next day, I slept. Til 2pm. LOL Talk about EXHAUSTED.
Monday, my uncle and cousin were still in town so we went to a little place in Sheffield called The Box Car Cafe. Its my favorite breakfast place. They have the best hash browns ever. They are more like fried potato shavings.... not some frozen hashbrown patty dumped in a fry daddy. YUM. We then visited the Helen Keller Birthplace. I don't see how I've lived here all my life and never visited this place. It was quite interesting. I was unaware that Helen Keller had 14 books published in 50 different languages and graduated from Radcliffe with honors. ( I went to UNA for 3 years and never finished.... lol) I am also glad we didn't get escorted off the premises after my cousin unlocked the gate and had his picture taken with the famous water pump. LOL
I woke up this morning not feeling well at all. It started about 3am. I took an extra nausea pill around 6 and slept it off until around 1 today. I have experienced severe stomach problems, headaches, fatigue, taste bud changes and most distrubing... hair loss. :( The hair I had left is now coming out at a pretty fast rate. I now LOOK like a cancer patient. Mitch said I look like a baby bird. LOL For some reason I just can't bring myself to shave off the rest. I wear my black hat around the house just to keep from shedding hair everywhere... I guess if this keeps up I will just go ahead and bring out the clippers. :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RLCGSSNJwo&list=UUQnSLqnaKn1fJQM3SMlFNmw&index=1&feature=plcp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPUmbEk6mp0&list=UUQnSLqnaKn1fJQM3SMlFNmw&index=3&feature=plcp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wa3q2xVu0oc&list=UUQnSLqnaKn1fJQM3SMlFNmw&index=8&feature=plcp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqC5k2_MLEM&list=UUQnSLqnaKn1fJQM3SMlFNmw&index=4&feature=plcp
I had a birthday. Monday, December 12, I turned 40. It wasn't that bad. I happen to share my birthday with a friend of mine, Heather Jeffreys, so Mitch and I met her and her boyfriend & family members at Ricatoni's. I had been dreading turning 40, but after being diagnosed, my outlook has changed a little and it wasn't so bad to turn 40 afterall.
I went to Nashville on Tuesday, Dec. 13 and met with my kidney doctor. He was awesome. He pretty much told me not to worry about my kidney issue. We are just going to watch it for the next 6 months. He said the only way to take care of the kidney issue is surgery and that would mean stopping my chemo, which we don't want to do. He said the lesion is so small, he isn't going to worry with it at this time and they would just keep an eye on it and if any changes develop, we'll deal with them then.
I then met with Dr. Meyer, my oncologist. She went over the biopsy results of my spine. Seems the spot on my spine IS related to the breast cancer, so that puts me at Stage 4. Not curable. :( From that point on, everything she said was kinda foggy. I was really hoping NOT to be Stage 4. Well.. it is what it is. She mentioned I would have to be on some sort of treatment from now on. (I assumed CHEMO, which would mean NO HAIR EVER, but my dad pointed out that she never said it would be chemo.. it could just be a pill or something. There I go, assuming the worst. lol) She changed my regiment from ever week for 6 weeks to once a week for 3 weeks then take the 4th week off. Then start over. She also mentioned that she might be backing off one of my chemo meds since I seem to be responding so well already. Since I have triple negative, its harder to find meds that the cancer responds to so she pretty much said she'd rather back off one of the meds now, than keep me on it and then in a year or so, be scrambling around trying to find another medicine I'll respond to. Makes sense, I guess.
I had a benefit on December 17 at FloBama. Our friends Mike Current (Puppy) and Brenda Aldridge & Blaine Cantrell planned it. Several of my friends put together a silent auction. I made a speech. (LOL) A "famous" called on a local sports radio show agreed to be the Emcee ... I was honored to have The Legend there. Several musician friends agreed to perform. Byron Green. Blaine Cantrell & John Crosslin. My husband, Mitch, and Toby Aderhold. Max Russell & the Shakedown Kings, and The Alabama Blues Brothers. After the Blues Brothers, it was sort of an open jam session.. Mitch and Bobby Aday did a few. Mitch and Jeff Moore did a few. It was a long night, but it was a good night. It was a night I will always remember. My friends really went above and beyond to make it special. My best friend from Memphis came home. My uncle from FL drove up and my cousin from New York was there. My cheeks were sore from smiling so much. I wore my long wig and as uncomfortable as it was... I was able to leave it on the whole night. lol
We raised a little over $4400 with donations, T-shirt sales and the auction.
The next day, I slept. Til 2pm. LOL Talk about EXHAUSTED.
Monday, my uncle and cousin were still in town so we went to a little place in Sheffield called The Box Car Cafe. Its my favorite breakfast place. They have the best hash browns ever. They are more like fried potato shavings.... not some frozen hashbrown patty dumped in a fry daddy. YUM. We then visited the Helen Keller Birthplace. I don't see how I've lived here all my life and never visited this place. It was quite interesting. I was unaware that Helen Keller had 14 books published in 50 different languages and graduated from Radcliffe with honors. ( I went to UNA for 3 years and never finished.... lol) I am also glad we didn't get escorted off the premises after my cousin unlocked the gate and had his picture taken with the famous water pump. LOL
I woke up this morning not feeling well at all. It started about 3am. I took an extra nausea pill around 6 and slept it off until around 1 today. I have experienced severe stomach problems, headaches, fatigue, taste bud changes and most distrubing... hair loss. :( The hair I had left is now coming out at a pretty fast rate. I now LOOK like a cancer patient. Mitch said I look like a baby bird. LOL For some reason I just can't bring myself to shave off the rest. I wear my black hat around the house just to keep from shedding hair everywhere... I guess if this keeps up I will just go ahead and bring out the clippers. :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RLCGSSNJwo&list=UUQnSLqnaKn1fJQM3SMlFNmw&index=1&feature=plcp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPUmbEk6mp0&list=UUQnSLqnaKn1fJQM3SMlFNmw&index=3&feature=plcp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wa3q2xVu0oc&list=UUQnSLqnaKn1fJQM3SMlFNmw&index=8&feature=plcp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqC5k2_MLEM&list=UUQnSLqnaKn1fJQM3SMlFNmw&index=4&feature=plcp
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Sunday, Dec. 11
If one word could be used to describe my weekend, it would be "BLAH". Mitch has worked all weekend, Jordan has stayed home all weekend (his choice... **shock**) and I have done nothing but lay around. On a scale of 1-10, my energy level has been about a 4. Just can't get going. My tastebuds are changing. Food is tasting different. Kind of takes the fun out of eating.
I still hate my new "haircut". That's probably another reason I haven't felt like going anywhere or even having company. I did have to force myself to go to Wal Mart yesterday to get Mitch something to take to work for lunch. I wore my wig. HATED IT. I didn't hate the wig itself, its just hot, itchy and very uncomfortable. I couldn't wait to get home and jerk it off. So now, I guess I'm going to have to decide between appearance vs. comfort. :/
I guess even though I am beginning to experience the effects of chemo, I should still be thankful its not worse than it is. I have a few friends that post on FB about how sick they are from "red devil". I will probably have to have that at some point- and I'm not looking forward to it.
My birthday is tomorrow. The big 4-0. Blah. What do I want for my birthday? To be well again, and have my hair back.
I still hate my new "haircut". That's probably another reason I haven't felt like going anywhere or even having company. I did have to force myself to go to Wal Mart yesterday to get Mitch something to take to work for lunch. I wore my wig. HATED IT. I didn't hate the wig itself, its just hot, itchy and very uncomfortable. I couldn't wait to get home and jerk it off. So now, I guess I'm going to have to decide between appearance vs. comfort. :/
I guess even though I am beginning to experience the effects of chemo, I should still be thankful its not worse than it is. I have a few friends that post on FB about how sick they are from "red devil". I will probably have to have that at some point- and I'm not looking forward to it.
My birthday is tomorrow. The big 4-0. Blah. What do I want for my birthday? To be well again, and have my hair back.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Hair today, gone tomorrow.....
Well. I did it. I cut my hair. I no longer have long, straight blonde hair. Its short and brown and spikey. The process was emotional. My dear friend Paige brushing it, sectioning it off into 1 inch sections, putting rubber bands on it and finally, cutting each one off. It didn't hurt, but I know I made a face each time one was cut. I could hear it being cut. I forced a smile at times, but on the inside I was crumbling.
I have never been one to be that concerned with my looks... I wear minimal makeup and most of the time my hair was just thrown back in a messy ponytail. Oh how I'll miss that messy ponytail.
Some of my best friends showed up. One friend drove 45 minutes to be there. One friend missed her nursing shift to be there. My husband was there. My son was there. My mom was there. My dad even came. When it was over... it was like the person looking back at me in the mirror wasn't me. All the way home, I kept running my hands over my head and instead of them getting tangled in my hair, all I felt with this soft, velvety stuff on my head. It actually FEELS good... I am just not used to the way it looks. LOL I mean, I went from long and blonde to super short and brown. Like *snaps* THAT.
I am posting a few pics from last night... and I want to thank everybody that was there for me. I know it wasn't easy for yall to see me go through this, but I'm glad you all did. It helped me in more ways than yall will know.
I found this on the Internet and thought it was too cute not to share.
so she did.
And she had a Grand Day!
The next day she woke up,looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.
I have never been one to be that concerned with my looks... I wear minimal makeup and most of the time my hair was just thrown back in a messy ponytail. Oh how I'll miss that messy ponytail.
Some of my best friends showed up. One friend drove 45 minutes to be there. One friend missed her nursing shift to be there. My husband was there. My son was there. My mom was there. My dad even came. When it was over... it was like the person looking back at me in the mirror wasn't me. All the way home, I kept running my hands over my head and instead of them getting tangled in my hair, all I felt with this soft, velvety stuff on my head. It actually FEELS good... I am just not used to the way it looks. LOL I mean, I went from long and blonde to super short and brown. Like *snaps* THAT.
I am posting a few pics from last night... and I want to thank everybody that was there for me. I know it wasn't easy for yall to see me go through this, but I'm glad you all did. It helped me in more ways than yall will know.
I found this on the Internet and thought it was too cute not to share.
There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror,and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.
Well, she said, I think I'll braid my hair today!
So she did.
And she had A Wonderful Day!The next day she woke up ,looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head
Hmmm, she said,I think I'll part my hair down the middle today!so she did.
And she had a Grand Day!
Well, she said,today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail.
So she did. And she had a Fun Day!
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.Yay! she exclaimed,
I don't have to fix my hair today!
Attitude is everything.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
2nd chemo.... done.
Well, its been a while since I've updated. A lot has happened.
I took my 1st chemo very well. Had virtually NO side effects until Saturday night around 8:30pm. It hit me fast and hard. I spent 2 hours in the bathroom with something coming out of one end or the other. (sorry...but its true) Around 11:30 I walked down the hallway to get some Sprite and crackers and was met by one of my son's friends who was asking if he was home. He had 30 minutes before curfew was up so I answered with "No, why would he be home early?" LOL It was then I learned that my son and his other friend had been jumped by a group of 3 guys and his friend wound up in the ER room while Jordan took off running on foot and nobody knew where he was. Talk about making me feel sick all over again. He is ok now... so I won't bore you with the details of that ordeal. It breaks my heart every time I think about it.
So I was sick Saturday night... felt like crap Sunday but felt better by Monday. Tuesday (yesterday) was chemo #2. Mitch had to work so I had 2 of my best friends offer to take me. I have to say it was one of the best days I've had in a while. We talked all the way to N'ville (one person, in-particular... LOL ), Leeann and Marnie got to see the whole "infusion" process and kept me company while I was getting my treatment. The benadryl bag got the best of me and as hard as it was to stay awake, I just couldn't do it. I think Leeann and Marnie went shopping a while during my nap... I woke up and they were gone, and when I looked outside, I saw Leeann's car leaving the parking lot. (LOL) My nurse bragged on how great our friendship was and told me I was lucky to have such awesome friends. I already knew that. I told her I had several more at home that were just as special and I almost started crying when I got to thinking about how lucky I am to have so many great friends. I mean, I wonder who would give up their entire day, drive 2 & 1/2 hours to sit and watch me be hooked up to 5 different bags of medicine, sit there for another 2 hours while the stuff is pumped into my body, and then drive home 2 &1/2 hours??? Leeann and Marnie did it and I know there are several others that would do it too. My husband has been with me almost every step of the way. He has missed several regular shifts and a few overtime shifts just to go with me to appointments. My (divorced) parents have been with me most of the time. My sister in Huntsville (with 4 small children at home) has sacrificed time away from her family to be with me on trips. I am blessed beyond measure in so many ways.
Ok.. I got off track a little. LOL So, back to the "Girls Day Out at Camp Chemo" .... after my infusion was done, we hit the road back to Muscle Shoals. Or so we thought. Since Leeann's On Star operator was being a b*tch, we had to rely on my cellphone's Navigation app to guide us home. It failed. We ended up riding around some quaint little city called Cornersville. It only delayed our time by about 45 minutes. We laughed about being lost, about how Leeann would either burn us up or freeze us out... just being silly and spending some girl time together. It made me forget why I even had to be in Nashville in the first place.
Today I have felt good... I'm sure it is the steroids. lol The nurse did tell me yesterday that the best treatment for nausea is prevention. SO, she wanted me to add 1/2 a Phenegran and an Ativan each night before going to bed. So now, I take Zofran, Phenegran and Ativan. I'm taking more medicine than my 88 yr old grandmother. LOL THANK GOD FOR INSURANCE. (I shudder to think about how much each treatment is costing)
I suppose that is about all that has happened lately. My next trip to Nashville will be a busy one. Urologist appointment at 8am (to discuss my kidney issue), labs at 11, see my oncologist at 1 (to figure out the plan for the spot on my spine) and my infusion at 1. That will be my 3rd chemo and I'm curious to see how I'll be feeling. I hope no different than I am now. My benefit will be that weekend so I am praying I'll feel like attending it. I know a lot of people have gone to a lot of work for it and it should be pretty awesome. :)
Tomorrow is a big day for me. I'll post a blog about it either tomorrow night or Friday. I'm sure some of you already know-- but I just don't think I have it in me to write about it tonight. Phenegran is kicking in. lol (I took a whole one tonight to counter the steroids)
All in all..... I think I've done pretty well with the chemo. So far, so good. :)
Love you all!
I took my 1st chemo very well. Had virtually NO side effects until Saturday night around 8:30pm. It hit me fast and hard. I spent 2 hours in the bathroom with something coming out of one end or the other. (sorry...but its true) Around 11:30 I walked down the hallway to get some Sprite and crackers and was met by one of my son's friends who was asking if he was home. He had 30 minutes before curfew was up so I answered with "No, why would he be home early?" LOL It was then I learned that my son and his other friend had been jumped by a group of 3 guys and his friend wound up in the ER room while Jordan took off running on foot and nobody knew where he was. Talk about making me feel sick all over again. He is ok now... so I won't bore you with the details of that ordeal. It breaks my heart every time I think about it.
So I was sick Saturday night... felt like crap Sunday but felt better by Monday. Tuesday (yesterday) was chemo #2. Mitch had to work so I had 2 of my best friends offer to take me. I have to say it was one of the best days I've had in a while. We talked all the way to N'ville (one person, in-particular... LOL ), Leeann and Marnie got to see the whole "infusion" process and kept me company while I was getting my treatment. The benadryl bag got the best of me and as hard as it was to stay awake, I just couldn't do it. I think Leeann and Marnie went shopping a while during my nap... I woke up and they were gone, and when I looked outside, I saw Leeann's car leaving the parking lot. (LOL) My nurse bragged on how great our friendship was and told me I was lucky to have such awesome friends. I already knew that. I told her I had several more at home that were just as special and I almost started crying when I got to thinking about how lucky I am to have so many great friends. I mean, I wonder who would give up their entire day, drive 2 & 1/2 hours to sit and watch me be hooked up to 5 different bags of medicine, sit there for another 2 hours while the stuff is pumped into my body, and then drive home 2 &1/2 hours??? Leeann and Marnie did it and I know there are several others that would do it too. My husband has been with me almost every step of the way. He has missed several regular shifts and a few overtime shifts just to go with me to appointments. My (divorced) parents have been with me most of the time. My sister in Huntsville (with 4 small children at home) has sacrificed time away from her family to be with me on trips. I am blessed beyond measure in so many ways.
Ok.. I got off track a little. LOL So, back to the "Girls Day Out at Camp Chemo" .... after my infusion was done, we hit the road back to Muscle Shoals. Or so we thought. Since Leeann's On Star operator was being a b*tch, we had to rely on my cellphone's Navigation app to guide us home. It failed. We ended up riding around some quaint little city called Cornersville. It only delayed our time by about 45 minutes. We laughed about being lost, about how Leeann would either burn us up or freeze us out... just being silly and spending some girl time together. It made me forget why I even had to be in Nashville in the first place.
Today I have felt good... I'm sure it is the steroids. lol The nurse did tell me yesterday that the best treatment for nausea is prevention. SO, she wanted me to add 1/2 a Phenegran and an Ativan each night before going to bed. So now, I take Zofran, Phenegran and Ativan. I'm taking more medicine than my 88 yr old grandmother. LOL THANK GOD FOR INSURANCE. (I shudder to think about how much each treatment is costing)
I suppose that is about all that has happened lately. My next trip to Nashville will be a busy one. Urologist appointment at 8am (to discuss my kidney issue), labs at 11, see my oncologist at 1 (to figure out the plan for the spot on my spine) and my infusion at 1. That will be my 3rd chemo and I'm curious to see how I'll be feeling. I hope no different than I am now. My benefit will be that weekend so I am praying I'll feel like attending it. I know a lot of people have gone to a lot of work for it and it should be pretty awesome. :)
Tomorrow is a big day for me. I'll post a blog about it either tomorrow night or Friday. I'm sure some of you already know-- but I just don't think I have it in me to write about it tonight. Phenegran is kicking in. lol (I took a whole one tonight to counter the steroids)
All in all..... I think I've done pretty well with the chemo. So far, so good. :)
Love you all!
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Day 2 after 1st chemo......
Well, I am still feeling pretty good. Not AS good as I did yesterday, so I know the steroids are probably wearing off. I am a little draggy today, but I don't think it is chemo related. A friend of mine brought over the Twilight movies and we attempted to have a movie marathon but by 2am, and the end of the 2nd movie... I was done. LOL SO... I am sure its related to just not getting much sleep. I enjoyed it though and I can understand what all the fuss is about with those movies. Just in case anyone is wondering... I'm Team Edward. ;)
My cheeks have been a little flushed today and I've been a little hot. I think that is due to me dressing like Ralphie from the Christmas story (in the coat) this morning and then the weather warming up a little.. walking into a house that still had the heat on from last night... yeah, so THAT isn't chemo related either. (Funny how once you start on chemo... every little thing is magnified and you wonder if its a symptom of something)
I haven't had any stomach issues or nausea. I am taking my anti-nausea medicine BY THE CLOCK. And those that know me KNOW I hate swallowing pills. But, I'm doing it.
I got a little bit of bad news last night. My nurse practitioner called to check on me, and then let me know the results of my spine biopsy I had last week. It did show cancer in the bone. I figured that much, but was really hoping it wasn't. It doesn't change anything as far as treatment goes at this point. I was still a little upset by it, and then a dear friend of mine reminded me that the chemo has started, which is the most important thing. This news didn't come out of left field and I need to keep doing what I'm doing and fight like hell to get through this. (Thanks Tina....)
I have decided when the time comes, to have a double mastectomy. Some people suggested only having one removed, but why keep a ticking time bomb (in my mind, anyway) when I would rather get 'em both whacked and start over with a fresh new (PERKY) pair. I've heard that the double surgery isn't any worse than the single- so why not? lol
I am also making plans for when my hair starts to come out. I'll disclose those plans when the time comes. ;)
I appreciate everyone checking on me and I hope I'm not overdoing it with the blogs and FB posts. I don't want to cram all this cancer stuff down everybody's throat all the time. Its just easier to blog so everybody can see how I'm doing rather than answer 45 texts a day -- WHICH I DON'T MIND DOING. I am NOT complaining about everyone's concern... so please don't take it that way. LOL
I know I could not do this without everyone's support... so it really means a lot to me. Thank you.
My cheeks have been a little flushed today and I've been a little hot. I think that is due to me dressing like Ralphie from the Christmas story (in the coat) this morning and then the weather warming up a little.. walking into a house that still had the heat on from last night... yeah, so THAT isn't chemo related either. (Funny how once you start on chemo... every little thing is magnified and you wonder if its a symptom of something)
I haven't had any stomach issues or nausea. I am taking my anti-nausea medicine BY THE CLOCK. And those that know me KNOW I hate swallowing pills. But, I'm doing it.
I got a little bit of bad news last night. My nurse practitioner called to check on me, and then let me know the results of my spine biopsy I had last week. It did show cancer in the bone. I figured that much, but was really hoping it wasn't. It doesn't change anything as far as treatment goes at this point. I was still a little upset by it, and then a dear friend of mine reminded me that the chemo has started, which is the most important thing. This news didn't come out of left field and I need to keep doing what I'm doing and fight like hell to get through this. (Thanks Tina....)
I have decided when the time comes, to have a double mastectomy. Some people suggested only having one removed, but why keep a ticking time bomb (in my mind, anyway) when I would rather get 'em both whacked and start over with a fresh new (PERKY) pair. I've heard that the double surgery isn't any worse than the single- so why not? lol
I am also making plans for when my hair starts to come out. I'll disclose those plans when the time comes. ;)
I appreciate everyone checking on me and I hope I'm not overdoing it with the blogs and FB posts. I don't want to cram all this cancer stuff down everybody's throat all the time. Its just easier to blog so everybody can see how I'm doing rather than answer 45 texts a day -- WHICH I DON'T MIND DOING. I am NOT complaining about everyone's concern... so please don't take it that way. LOL
I know I could not do this without everyone's support... so it really means a lot to me. Thank you.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
First chemo video...
Not sure if this will work, but here is a video of my first chemo treatment. I apologize in advance for :
1. my outfit being hideous. I wanted to be comfortable, but it was not very flattering.
2. Mitch saying a cuss word. At least it was a mild one. I swear he was a sailor in a past life. LOL
Hope this works!
http://youtu.be/ak5vfvLAJdE
Oh, and if you've already seen this on FB, I apologize for repeating. LOL
1. my outfit being hideous. I wanted to be comfortable, but it was not very flattering.
2. Mitch saying a cuss word. At least it was a mild one. I swear he was a sailor in a past life. LOL
Hope this works!
http://youtu.be/ak5vfvLAJdE
Oh, and if you've already seen this on FB, I apologize for repeating. LOL
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Chemo #1.. been there, done that.
Well. I had myself all worked up over nothing. I just knew after my treatment was over, I would either be wheeled to the car in a wheelchair or carried out on a stretcher. lol
I got to Vanderbilt Health Center around 11:30, signed in and almost immediately they took me back to have my port accessed and blood drawn. (got a video of it! haha) The only pain I felt was the pressure of the nurse pushing on the port just a tad to get the needle in. It is still a little tender, but its getting better every day. For those that want to see exactly what it looks like....
The only part I can feel is "A"... the little "button" that the needle goes in to. (I wish I had those boobs!)
Anyway.
Got the blood drawn, and then I was sent to talk to Katie Sibler, the nurse practitioner. My biopsy results aren't back yet from the T3 Process biopsy-- but she did go over all the side effects of the chemo meds. She was very thorough. She spent a lot of time with us and made us feel very at ease.
After a bit of waiting, it was time for me to go to the infusion room. It was a private room, with a large flatscreen TV on the wall. The recliner was comfortable and there was an extra chair for some lucky person to keep me company in. I can pretty much do anything I want while getting my cocktail. Text, watch TV, read, sleep, knit (if I knitted). If I have to use the ladies room, I have to unplug the IV stand and walk it with me to the bathroom. I am surprised I didn't trip over it and fall. I made several trips. Those fluids ran right through me. I got Benadryl, Zofran, and Decadron. Those were my pre-meds to prevent any sickness or allergic reaction. Then came the fun stuff. Taxol must have won the coin toss because it was first. Then came Cisplatin. All in all, it took a little over 4 hours. My next treatment shouldn't take as long.
Mitch stayed with me most of the time (God I love that man). My mom, dad, sister and even Jordan took turns coming in and keeping me company. They won't be at every treatment, but the first one was important, so they were all there.
It is nearly midnight and I have been up since 5am. I am not the least bit tired. (hello, steroids) I know tomorrow I should feel ok but then Thursday I should start feeling the effects. I do expect to be a little run-down feeling but I am really not going to plan on being completely knocked out. We'll see. I will probably feel like I've been hit by a freight train in a few days... but fingers crossed I won't.
I will have my treatments every Tuesday. My main doctor changed my regiment and instead of taking treatments once a week for 3 weeks and then taking a break... I'm going once a week for 6 weeks straight. No break for me. Not unless my levels start bottoming out. I still have to learn about my blood count and all. I was advised to watch my temperature. (Note to self: BUY A THERMOMETER) If I have a fever over 100.4, CALL THEM IMMEDIATELY.
So far, so good. Thank you for the continued support, thoughts and prayers. They will be a huge in helping me win this battle. I could not do this without my faith in God, my medical team, my family and my friends. So, from the bottom of my heart.... THANK YOU.
I got to Vanderbilt Health Center around 11:30, signed in and almost immediately they took me back to have my port accessed and blood drawn. (got a video of it! haha) The only pain I felt was the pressure of the nurse pushing on the port just a tad to get the needle in. It is still a little tender, but its getting better every day. For those that want to see exactly what it looks like....
Anyway.
Got the blood drawn, and then I was sent to talk to Katie Sibler, the nurse practitioner. My biopsy results aren't back yet from the T3 Process biopsy-- but she did go over all the side effects of the chemo meds. She was very thorough. She spent a lot of time with us and made us feel very at ease.
After a bit of waiting, it was time for me to go to the infusion room. It was a private room, with a large flatscreen TV on the wall. The recliner was comfortable and there was an extra chair for some lucky person to keep me company in. I can pretty much do anything I want while getting my cocktail. Text, watch TV, read, sleep, knit (if I knitted). If I have to use the ladies room, I have to unplug the IV stand and walk it with me to the bathroom. I am surprised I didn't trip over it and fall. I made several trips. Those fluids ran right through me. I got Benadryl, Zofran, and Decadron. Those were my pre-meds to prevent any sickness or allergic reaction. Then came the fun stuff. Taxol must have won the coin toss because it was first. Then came Cisplatin. All in all, it took a little over 4 hours. My next treatment shouldn't take as long.
Mitch stayed with me most of the time (God I love that man). My mom, dad, sister and even Jordan took turns coming in and keeping me company. They won't be at every treatment, but the first one was important, so they were all there.
It is nearly midnight and I have been up since 5am. I am not the least bit tired. (hello, steroids) I know tomorrow I should feel ok but then Thursday I should start feeling the effects. I do expect to be a little run-down feeling but I am really not going to plan on being completely knocked out. We'll see. I will probably feel like I've been hit by a freight train in a few days... but fingers crossed I won't.
I will have my treatments every Tuesday. My main doctor changed my regiment and instead of taking treatments once a week for 3 weeks and then taking a break... I'm going once a week for 6 weeks straight. No break for me. Not unless my levels start bottoming out. I still have to learn about my blood count and all. I was advised to watch my temperature. (Note to self: BUY A THERMOMETER) If I have a fever over 100.4, CALL THEM IMMEDIATELY.
So far, so good. Thank you for the continued support, thoughts and prayers. They will be a huge in helping me win this battle. I could not do this without my faith in God, my medical team, my family and my friends. So, from the bottom of my heart.... THANK YOU.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Just gotta deal with it....
Well, this is not exactly how I wanted to spend my holidays. Thanksgiving is out of the way and Christmas is less than a month away. I don't know how many chemos I'll have under my belt by then and I'm too lazy to figure it up at the moment. Math has never been my strong point, so I would probably miscalculate anyway. I do know that my first treatment is Tuesday, Nov. 29. That is 2 months to the day from when I was diagnosed. I will have one treatment a week for 3 weeks, then take the 4th week "off". Then start again.
I am nervous, excited and praying my body responds to the poison I'll be getting. I have my good days and my bad days (wow.. my chemo hasnt even started yet..imagine my mood swings THEN!?) and I've run down my list of what I have done in my past that could have caused this. I don't smoke. I am not a "drinker", although I do enjoy a Kaluha 'n Cream or Malibu and Sprite on occassion. I don't do tanning beds. I didn't exercise like I should have. I don't eat very healthy. I don't eat fruit. I didn't have regular check ups when nothing was wrong.... bottom line is, no matter what I did or didn't do... I got cancer. TWICE. (remember my little episode with Hodgkin's Lymphoma when I was 19?)
I have tried to live normally, since the only sign of me having cancer is this mass in my breast, a spot here and there (kidney & spine) and this aggravating port that was put in last week. I get up, do what I normally do and pretend I'm ok. Oh I've had my little meltdowns since September 29.... most of the time in the shower. When nobody is around. I stand there and cry, holding on to my hair, begging God to change His mind and let this all be a mistake. But, I know He doesn't make mistakes. He has a plan and there is a reason I'm about to go through this.
Since my diagnosis, I have been blessed to have met so many new people... survivors. Brenda Calhoun was probably the first person I spoke to that had been through it. I'll never forget the first email she sent me. She gave me the run down on what to expect. I cried when reading it. I didn't want those things to happen to me. I still don't. But, in order to get better- they have to happen. She told me a few things that I will hold on to when things get bad. 1. It will not last forever. 2. You can do anything for six months. 3. You will feel like you'd rather die, but don't you dare give in.
Chemo isn't going to be fun. I dread it. But, it has to happen in order for me to get well. I know Mitch will be there every step of the way, and if by some chance he bails-- he won't get far. I know Leeann, Deana, Marnie, Deanna, Tina, Paige, Holly, Robin, Kelly and the rest of my friends will hunt him down and KILL HIM. LOL
Thanks to everybody who continues to check on me... I appreciate it more than you know.
I am nervous, excited and praying my body responds to the poison I'll be getting. I have my good days and my bad days (wow.. my chemo hasnt even started yet..imagine my mood swings THEN!?) and I've run down my list of what I have done in my past that could have caused this. I don't smoke. I am not a "drinker", although I do enjoy a Kaluha 'n Cream or Malibu and Sprite on occassion. I don't do tanning beds. I didn't exercise like I should have. I don't eat very healthy. I don't eat fruit. I didn't have regular check ups when nothing was wrong.... bottom line is, no matter what I did or didn't do... I got cancer. TWICE. (remember my little episode with Hodgkin's Lymphoma when I was 19?)
I have tried to live normally, since the only sign of me having cancer is this mass in my breast, a spot here and there (kidney & spine) and this aggravating port that was put in last week. I get up, do what I normally do and pretend I'm ok. Oh I've had my little meltdowns since September 29.... most of the time in the shower. When nobody is around. I stand there and cry, holding on to my hair, begging God to change His mind and let this all be a mistake. But, I know He doesn't make mistakes. He has a plan and there is a reason I'm about to go through this.
Since my diagnosis, I have been blessed to have met so many new people... survivors. Brenda Calhoun was probably the first person I spoke to that had been through it. I'll never forget the first email she sent me. She gave me the run down on what to expect. I cried when reading it. I didn't want those things to happen to me. I still don't. But, in order to get better- they have to happen. She told me a few things that I will hold on to when things get bad. 1. It will not last forever. 2. You can do anything for six months. 3. You will feel like you'd rather die, but don't you dare give in.
Chemo isn't going to be fun. I dread it. But, it has to happen in order for me to get well. I know Mitch will be there every step of the way, and if by some chance he bails-- he won't get far. I know Leeann, Deana, Marnie, Deanna, Tina, Paige, Holly, Robin, Kelly and the rest of my friends will hunt him down and KILL HIM. LOL
Thanks to everybody who continues to check on me... I appreciate it more than you know.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Port is in....
I arrive at Vanderbilt about 8:15. Everybody in the Interventional Radiology Department is super nice. A man name Collin came in and explained everything that would be done in both the port placement and the spine biopsy. He even bought out a port to show me exactly what it would look like and where it would go and what it did. He sat back there in my room with us and talked with us for a while.... made it very comfortable. Mitch sat back there with me and having him with me helped a lot. He has been my rock through this whole thing and just him being close to me does more for me than any pill I could take for anxiety.
They came and wheeled me back to the procedure room and after administering the Fentanyl and Versed, I honestly dont remember anything. I didn't feel anything. Even after "coming to", I still felt nothing. I thought, "Hmmm, this is alright!!" I then was wheeled back to my waiting area and within a few minutes, someone comes to get me to take me to another procedure room for my spine biopsy. I laid on my stomach (the port area was still numb so I didn't even feel it) I remember just a small prick between my shoulders which was the numbing shot and then that was about it. I vaguely remember some pushing and pressure I suppose when they were getting the biopsy from the bone, but there was no pain involved. The next thing I know I was being wheeled back into the recovery area. STILL NO PAIN AT ALL from either procedure.
Mitch was handed a stack of paperwork, and after waiting about 30 minutes, I was free to go. I didn't even have to use the wheelchair.. I just walked right out of there. NO PAIN STILL.
Well, about an hour before getting home... the feeling started coming back. And it came back fast. My dad drove over some railroad tracks and I thought I was gonna scream. LOL
On a scale of 1-10, right now my pain is about a 7.5. It feels extremely bruised and is very swollen. It hurts to move my arm. It hurts to cough (which I still am) I took a percocet about an hour ago and its not even touching it. I am going to lay down, but wanted to update this first.
Thank you to everybody that has texted, called, and contacted me on FB to check on me. It means a lot to know I'm being thought about and prayed for.
They came and wheeled me back to the procedure room and after administering the Fentanyl and Versed, I honestly dont remember anything. I didn't feel anything. Even after "coming to", I still felt nothing. I thought, "Hmmm, this is alright!!" I then was wheeled back to my waiting area and within a few minutes, someone comes to get me to take me to another procedure room for my spine biopsy. I laid on my stomach (the port area was still numb so I didn't even feel it) I remember just a small prick between my shoulders which was the numbing shot and then that was about it. I vaguely remember some pushing and pressure I suppose when they were getting the biopsy from the bone, but there was no pain involved. The next thing I know I was being wheeled back into the recovery area. STILL NO PAIN AT ALL from either procedure.
Mitch was handed a stack of paperwork, and after waiting about 30 minutes, I was free to go. I didn't even have to use the wheelchair.. I just walked right out of there. NO PAIN STILL.
Well, about an hour before getting home... the feeling started coming back. And it came back fast. My dad drove over some railroad tracks and I thought I was gonna scream. LOL
On a scale of 1-10, right now my pain is about a 7.5. It feels extremely bruised and is very swollen. It hurts to move my arm. It hurts to cough (which I still am) I took a percocet about an hour ago and its not even touching it. I am going to lay down, but wanted to update this first.
Thank you to everybody that has texted, called, and contacted me on FB to check on me. It means a lot to know I'm being thought about and prayed for.
Monday, November 21, 2011
A little progress, maybe.
First off, let me apologize for taking so long to update.
I did not have the kidney biopsy I talked about in the last post because they couldn't safely perform it. It was such a small place, and in a very difficult location so they were afraid if they proceeded with it, more damage would be caused. The terms "puncturing your bowel" and "knicking your liver" were mentioned. Neither sounded pleasant so I was more than happy for THAT procedure to be cancelled. Even though we spent 3 hours trying to get a good position (flipping me from side to side, repositioning my body on the table, etc..) it just wouldn't work. They are basically just going to keep an eye on it and see if it responds to the chemo or not.
We then went to Jack's BBQ on Broadway (which is worth the drive alone, in my opinion) and guess what? They were CLOSED due to a freaking water leak! JUST MY LUCK. It was just not my day.
So here we are on Monday, Nov. 21 and I guess the squeaky wheel gets the grease. I called Vanderbilt twice this morning to check on things and I found out that not only am I scheduled for the spine biopsy (the T3 area) for Wednesday, but they are also going to put my port in that day as well. I will have the port placement at 9:30. YAY!! Some progress FINALLY. I am nervous and anxious about it, but I know it has to be done in order for me to start the chemo, which HOPEFULLY will be next week. I am waiting on the scheduler to call me back and let me know when my first treatment will be. I'm still supposed to take Taxol and Cisplatin.
So.. that is all I know as of now. I'm going to try to do better on updating. :/
*****UPDATE*****
They just called and my first chemo is scheduled for Tuesday, Nov. 29th at 11:30. Wow. My first infusion. I guess this is really fixing to happen. :/
I did not have the kidney biopsy I talked about in the last post because they couldn't safely perform it. It was such a small place, and in a very difficult location so they were afraid if they proceeded with it, more damage would be caused. The terms "puncturing your bowel" and "knicking your liver" were mentioned. Neither sounded pleasant so I was more than happy for THAT procedure to be cancelled. Even though we spent 3 hours trying to get a good position (flipping me from side to side, repositioning my body on the table, etc..) it just wouldn't work. They are basically just going to keep an eye on it and see if it responds to the chemo or not.
We then went to Jack's BBQ on Broadway (which is worth the drive alone, in my opinion) and guess what? They were CLOSED due to a freaking water leak! JUST MY LUCK. It was just not my day.
So here we are on Monday, Nov. 21 and I guess the squeaky wheel gets the grease. I called Vanderbilt twice this morning to check on things and I found out that not only am I scheduled for the spine biopsy (the T3 area) for Wednesday, but they are also going to put my port in that day as well. I will have the port placement at 9:30. YAY!! Some progress FINALLY. I am nervous and anxious about it, but I know it has to be done in order for me to start the chemo, which HOPEFULLY will be next week. I am waiting on the scheduler to call me back and let me know when my first treatment will be. I'm still supposed to take Taxol and Cisplatin.
So.. that is all I know as of now. I'm going to try to do better on updating. :/
*****UPDATE*****
They just called and my first chemo is scheduled for Tuesday, Nov. 29th at 11:30. Wow. My first infusion. I guess this is really fixing to happen. :/
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Bring on the biopsy....
Well, I have the dreaded kidney biopsy in the morning. We will be pulling out of here at 5:30am (yes, I said AM) and my appointment is at 10am. No food or water past midnight. I hate that part. I am normally not hungry at 3am, but watch-- I will be starving at 3am.
I will do my best to update tomorrow on how the procedure went. Hopefully I won't feel a thing. **fingers crosssed**
I still have this aggravating cough. I don't feel sick. I think its just allergy/weather related. I hope so, anyway. Since my diagnosis, I am paranoid about EVERYTHING.
Sorry for this being so short. The dogs have destroyed the house... and I have lots of cleaning to do before my good friend, Deanna, comes over tomorrow to take care of them while I'm gone.
Will update tomorrow!! :)
Ciao.
I will do my best to update tomorrow on how the procedure went. Hopefully I won't feel a thing. **fingers crosssed**
I still have this aggravating cough. I don't feel sick. I think its just allergy/weather related. I hope so, anyway. Since my diagnosis, I am paranoid about EVERYTHING.
Sorry for this being so short. The dogs have destroyed the house... and I have lots of cleaning to do before my good friend, Deanna, comes over tomorrow to take care of them while I'm gone.
Will update tomorrow!! :)
Ciao.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Is this thing on????
Ok. I am a Facebooker, not a Blogger. I am going to TRY this blogging thing just to save from clogging up my FB with cancer stuff. Its much easier writing "notes", but I'm sure people are getting sick of it already.
I will post this blog address on my FB and probably from now on, I will use THIS as a means of keeping everyone updated on my progress. I'm sure I'll have good days, and I'm sure I'll have not-so-good days. Mitch will have access to this, so if you see a post starting out "Mitch here...." then you'll know I must not be having a good day, and I apologize now for any language you might read. His vocabulary is much more colorful than mine. lol
Well... if you are reading this, then that means you must think enough about me to check on me, so thank you. :)
I will give a short version story of why I even started a blog called "CancerSucks." Because it does. I had cancer almost 20 years ago, and now I'm facing it again. The situations are totally different and I'd give anything if my diagnosis was different this time. Before I had Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Three months of radiation and it was gone. Bam! Just like that.
About six weeks ago, I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer. Its an ugly cancer. A mean cancer. An aggressive cancer. It can be treated, but it is a little more difficult than just your typical run of the mill breast cancer. (just my luck, huh?)
I wasted several weeks in Birmingham, at Kirklin Clinic, and finally got myself to Vanderbilt (thanks, Dad) where they immediately assured me that while my cancer wasn't the kind to play nice, they would do everything they could to save my life. That is all I wanted to hear. I am supposed to start my first treatment this coming Wednesday, so while I'm a nervous wreck over it... I'm ready. Bring it.
I will post this blog address on my FB and probably from now on, I will use THIS as a means of keeping everyone updated on my progress. I'm sure I'll have good days, and I'm sure I'll have not-so-good days. Mitch will have access to this, so if you see a post starting out "Mitch here...." then you'll know I must not be having a good day, and I apologize now for any language you might read. His vocabulary is much more colorful than mine. lol
Well... if you are reading this, then that means you must think enough about me to check on me, so thank you. :)
I will give a short version story of why I even started a blog called "CancerSucks." Because it does. I had cancer almost 20 years ago, and now I'm facing it again. The situations are totally different and I'd give anything if my diagnosis was different this time. Before I had Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Three months of radiation and it was gone. Bam! Just like that.
About six weeks ago, I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer. Its an ugly cancer. A mean cancer. An aggressive cancer. It can be treated, but it is a little more difficult than just your typical run of the mill breast cancer. (just my luck, huh?)
I wasted several weeks in Birmingham, at Kirklin Clinic, and finally got myself to Vanderbilt (thanks, Dad) where they immediately assured me that while my cancer wasn't the kind to play nice, they would do everything they could to save my life. That is all I wanted to hear. I am supposed to start my first treatment this coming Wednesday, so while I'm a nervous wreck over it... I'm ready. Bring it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)