Update from pathology report...

I posted this in Facebook's notes, but then realized a few of you that are keeping up with me aren't ON Facebook, so I am copying and pasting it here as well.

Vanderbilt called today at 1:00.
This is what I wrote down in my notepad:

Total cancer tumor size was a little over 12 cm.
Chemo killed 10 cm. Dr. Meszoely removed the invasive cancer that was left which was a total of 2.4 cms.
She removed 10 lymph nodes, 3 of which were involved.  Got clear margins.   Cancer is gone.
You are still Stage 4 since it metastasized to other areas (spine & kidney)  and you will not be getting radiation
due to the fact you've already had it many years ago (one can't be radiated more than once in the same area) and the areas overlap.  You will still need to come see Dr. Meszoely next Friday to have drains removed and set up an appointment with Dr. Mayer (my oncologist) to discuss what is next.



I wasn't sure if this was GOOD news or just news.....  I was a little disappointed at not being able to have radiation just as a precaution but as my dad asked, "If the cancer from your breast is gone,  what is there to radiate?"   I will be asking for chemo ASAP not because I love it, but because without it, I feel vulnerable and very unprotected. Cancer has been a part of my life twice.  Briefly when I was 19,  and then again beginning in September 2011.  When I heard the words "cancer is gone"... I wanted to fall to the floor, but then I remembered being Stage 4, I will always have cancer.  I will take what I can get though and celebrate & rejoice that I didn't get the news of the cancer spreading.

Sooooo,  this is good news--- and this probably puts me back at having the option of implants when its time for reconstruction.  I have just about gotten used to the idea of the tram flap- even though the recovery isn't very easy.

Anyway.. .thank you all for your prayers-- they worked!!!!

Thank you, GOD, for having your hands on me.

Surgey..check.

Well, it is Monday, May 21.This time last week I was waiting to be wheeled back into surgery.  The nipple procedure was a piece of cake. I was all worked up over nothing.  Could barely feel it.  It was done to "light up" the cancer ridden nodes once they got in there.  However, they injected me at 10am, and I wasn't taken back into surgery until 4:30 so the dye had worn off.  They played it safe (from what I was told) and took the whole "clump" of nodes.  I should hear back from the pathology report later on in the week.
I didn't even remember being taken back to surgery.  My mom, dad, Jordan and Mitch were there with me, and I had a surprise visit from a special friend, Elizabeth.  She drove almost 2 hours to come see me and she stayed with me until I went back.
When I came to... I was still pretty much loopy from the drugs so I really don't remember much until the next day when it was time for me to go home.  I made sure Mitch got my pain meds filled so I wouldn't have to go without taking them for any period of time.  As with the nausea medicine... the key to managing the pain is staying ahead of it, so I took my meds by the clock.
On a pain scale of 1-10, its been about a 2 most days.  One night it ranked about a 9 and I had to get a nurse friend of mine to come over late to make sure nothing was wrong with my drains/incisions.  Turns out, I was having muscle spasms under my right arm, where they took the lymph nodes.  It was similar to a charlie horse... how it cramps up and hurts like crap.. then when the cramp goes away, it is still sore from cramping up.  I called Vandy the next day and they called me in some muscle relaxers and said what I was describing was normal.
Drains.  Oh my.  It is the weirdest thing but they aren't bothering me at all.  I mean, they are a nuisance, yes. But, I haven't gotten grossed out by them like I thought I would.  We have to empty them & measure the output twice a day.  I should get them out next week.
It is day 7 and the biggest problem I'm having is some pain/soreness under my arms and on my chest. It is very sore to the touch and I'm not able to bend down and pick anything up without it hurting.  I am also itching on my arms and where my boobs used to be.  Its frustrating to have an itch somewhere, but can't scratch it because its numb. I guess it is similar to "phantom pains" that amputees have.
I don't know what I would have done if Mitch hadn't been off this whole last week.  He has done everything around here.... mainly taken great care of me.   He got up every 4 hours to give me my medicine. Helped me out of my chair, brought my food & drink to me, taken care of the animals, washed clothes, done dishes.  He even got IN the shower with me to help.  Talk about awkward... not by him getting in the shower with me, but just afraid of what he would think seeing me.  Without the bandages, and without boobs.  He was so understanding and just gently kissed where they used to be.  He has slept on the couch in the living room every night. (I am sleeping in a recliner in the living room.. and BOY DO I MISS MY BED!!! lol)  He has emptied my drains like a professional and one time, he let me squeeze the bulb of nastiness into the cup and I gave it a few extra squeezes and he said, "Whoa baby.. you're getting lymphatic air on me..."  lol    He also cleaned one of my drains that had gotten clogged up with a tissue and for some unknown reason, he stuck the tissue in his pocket and didn't realize it was still there until a few hours later.  LOL He has tried to lighten the situation up by making jokes and keeping me laughing.  I am going to miss him when he goes back to work.  :(
I also want to thank everybody that has come to visit and brought food.  It has been such a HUGE relief not to have to worry about cooking supper. Frankly, I don't think I could pick up pots and pans and stand there & cook.  So, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
I am going to insert some pictures....  some are nasty, but it is what it is.  Hope I don't offend anybody.

These are the drains...3 of them.

 

This is Mitch "stripping" the drain. 

This is me... minus my boobs. :(   lol

This is how I have to shower... that is a housecoat belt draped around my neck, with the drains pinned to it to keep them from hanging.  Quite a hassle.

Mitch has slept on the couch the entire time.  Notice Mallie laying on him.

This is how Mallie sleeps with me in the chair.  She has been very gentle.

Me and Jordan.  :)